Monday letters

Hello! I've come to love writing my thoughts from a week of good missionary work. Why does it have to stop now? Nope, not gonna stop. So, I've decided to keep writing my weeklies sometimes because it honestly helped me see how much God's hand was in my life that week, and how much I'm grateful for it.

 This week has been spectacular. I'm starting to get used to life as a real person again. A new me a new year a whole new world. For new years eve I got to be with my family! I got to hold a baby again for a good long while. I loved staring into her face as she peacefully slept and dreamt of Heavenly days. I loved all the snacks scattered all over the counter, with warm cookies in the oven and all sorts of creative concoctions that you can dip chips in.

 Speaking of chip dip, I love our tradition of homemade chip dip on Christmas. There's something about it that makes me go crazy! and I can't stop eating it and eating it even when my stomach is screaming stop! I love the holidays.

 I'm so grateful for a mom who's whole life revolves around caring for us. Being home from a mission is something I've never experienced before. I have all sorts of strange feelings and thoughts and emotions. It can be just plain hard. My mom doesn't exactly know how I feel but she knew she could do what mamas do best, be there for their kids. We had companion study at the kitchen table (after she made me roasted red pepper soup with toasted sourdough bread and gruyere cheese) I cried as we read the white handbook again, the words filled my soul with gratitude for my experiences I've had these past 18 months. She showed me how to be a normal person again and took me to the place on earth where life becomes fair...the temple. I felt the strength of my Heavenly Father fill every ounce of my being as I pondered and listened and learned in His house. I love picturing people there as I walk down the street, thinking how much peace and pure joy would come if they could just make it to the temple. Everyone deserves to go.

 I've been trying to keep up on studying. I love how delicious each word of the Book of Mormon feels as I now have all the time in the world to read and apply it to my life. I know that book is true with all my heart. It has been a source of comfort every time I need it, which turns out to be a lot in this crazy world of wickedness and disappointment. How could I live without the constant flow of words from my God in my life? I am humbled at how much He loves us to give us all these books to tell us plain and simply.

 I've noticed that Alaska has permanently changed my view of nature. I feel so appreciative of each detail that surrounds me as soon as I step outside. A calm, meditative feeling of peace can immediately fill me if I think to let it. My steps are a little lighter and my cares are so tiny sometimes I think they don't even exist.

 I miss the simplicity of a mission. Life really was so simple and full of joy. I want it to stay.

 I got to talk to Ronnie on the phone! I love when she calls, she is full of love and always expresses it. I love how much she can talk about her cute grandkids and what joy she finds in the simplest things, like how her grandson was smearing cake all over his face, and how it was the best day ever. Nothing so complex.

 Had you been there tonight
You might know how it feels
To be struck to the bone
In a moment of breathless delight!
 Had you been there tonight
You might also have known
How the world may be changed
In just one burst of light!
 And what was right
Seems wrong
And what was wrong
Seems right...

 I can't get that stanza out of my head, it just keeps replaying (from Les Miserables "Red and Black). It seems fitting for today for some reason.

 I miss you!
and love you,
exSister Alyssa Watson

:....quick....sand....:

Theres a small dry bit of sand left in my hand and it's sinking through my fingers at a speed that's a little too fast for my current liking. There's so many things to say, but so little time. There's so much to align, but it keeps getting jumbled. I feel like I don't have time to purposefully dip a book in a lake and read the crinkly pages, or be at the top of a mountain with my legs stinging. I liked how Kendis said: Don't put off doing something when the thought comes, just do it then, or you never will. Like buying a cushion for the bucket chairs, it's been 2 years, and still no cushions. When the thought comes, why don't we just do it? What else are we doing?

Despite all this, there's something about the thought of it that makes me giddy with excitement, an incredible excitement that I've never experienced before, and could never explain.

I saw this painting at the San Diego Museum of Art. It was so beautiful, it made my mother cry.

El Greco, The Penitent Saint Peter. 1590-95

Button That Top Button.

My mom and sister have been threatening to cut off all the top buttons on all my collared shirts for my mission. What is it about awesome that they don't understand? Theres something so great about that one little detail that completely transforms a boring ordinary collared shirt into a shabby nerd/gangster/oxfordy/librariany/beautiful piece of clothing which happens to be ***bonus*** super modest.

I guess it's the only way I can justify wearing those shirts because they never look quite right on me. I can't take myself seriously when that fabric is dangling open, it looks sloppy. I can't help that I love the way the collar looks when it's closed. There are so many different shape of collars, which make it fun. Some of them point straight down or point off into different directions, some are long and some are short, it's a surprise waiting to be discovered, and you'll never know until you do it.

I met a boy at Called to Surf who completely supports my BTTB Movement (see post title), as well as Seany, both opinions which I trust, so who's with me?

Wisdom