this one goose

one day i was sad and mar(roll the tongue)it told me the best story ever that made me laugh so hard. I completely forgot that i was sad, even though the story was about a shallow goose who got plastic surgery and only wanted to marry a goose that was pretty enough for him and thought his children gooselings were the ugliest things on earth and he ditched all his goothse (lisp) friends to live in the city to be pretty and popular and cool and rich. This story alone was not made to make anyone feel happy and joyous, I loved it nonetheless because every other line we had to stop for 10 minutes à cause de pure belly-rupturing laughter the kind where it hurts so bad it feels amazing! the kind where your face is stuck in the most hideous position semi-permanently and you can't move it even if you give all your effort possible because your abdominals are on fire and you can't stop the warm tears from falling down your cheeks. You're just kind of paralyzed in time and for the duration of your explosion, you experience the most intense bliss yet the most excruciating pain, that is one of my favorite feelings in the world. joyous pain. it turned my pain into the most jubilant sensation that fed my soul pink frosted cupcakes with the slightest sprinkling of sugared candy bits of delight. the story ended good though. fortunately the goose's kids had an inherited gene from their mother that the older they grow and the more someone else loved them for who they were, the more beautiful they became, so the old shallow goose got his beautiful family and was adored by all.